OLD JOKE ALERT!! What’s the difference between a buffalo and a bison? You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo.
That’s not the only difference, by the way, but I’m not here to talk about the fact that the Americans have been calling their bison by the wrong name for 400 years. I want to share a revelation.
Last Friday I was listening to a quiz on the radio and it asked a question about which animal completed the titles of songs by Malcolm McLaren (___Gals), Bob Marley (___Soldier) and Neneh Cherry (___Stance). The answer, of course, was buffalo. I thought, how odd that such a quirky animal should make so many appearances in the pop charts.
Later that evening, I was listening to a local singer/songwriter called Lethargic Phoenix performing live in my town and, guess what, he had a song called The Buffalo Snooze. So I told him about the quiz and how amazing it was that there were now four songs featuring this bovine beauty. “Yes,” he agreed, “and then there’s that sentence, isn’t there? Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.”
“Is there?” I said, somewhat sceptically.
It turns out he was right. You can make a grammatically correct sentence with just the word ‘buffalo’ appearing eight times in succession. What I hadn’t been able to tell from the Phoenix’s pronunciation was that there are certain capital letters required to make the sentence work. It should actually read:
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
The key to it is that ‘buffalo’ can be an adjective (hailing from the city of Buffalo), a verb (to outwit or baffle) and a noun (a buffalo). So if you imagined some buffalo from Buffalo who are habitually baffled by other buffalo from Buffalo, while at the same time being in the habit of baffling other buffalo from Buffalo, you get the sentence: Buffalo buffalo (buffalo from Buffalo)… Buffalo buffalo buffalo (which buffalo from Buffalo baffle)… buffalo Buffalo buffalo (baffle buffalo from Buffalo).
You just can’t do that with bison. But it’s not unique to the buffalo. Let’s hear it for Badger, Alaska, and Duck, North Carolina.
Let us know if you think of any more.
The Buffalo Snooze
© Lethargic Phoenix. Reproduced by kind permission
i took a hike
by the bombshell/meteorite site
where the buffalo snooze
and made a right
for twin ridges abridged
barely singed
to an uncanny tune…
peculiar that you should
take the form of a bluebird
i thought it odd you showed up at all
task paralysed
wishing well
on myself
by the shelves of gel, wax and mousse
while up the aisle
buying dye
a dignified, laughter-lined,
twinkle-eyed shock o white/fucshia
fusion. perusin’.
not yer usual babushka.
no boomer… so, who but some older you from the future?
hindsight wonders not for why i wasn’t surprised at all
in real life
now i can tell
very well by the smell
between what’s shampoo
and what’s real shite.
mark this,
regardless
of who this gospel’s according to
and i’ve half the mind
to twist it so tight
it might chime unbelievably true
but that would be a lie.
so consider
the ink on a simmer
reduced to a jus:
i wouldn’t be me if there hadn’t been you
i wouldn’t be me if there hadn’t been you
i wouldn’t be me if there hadn’t been you
i wouldn’t be me if there hadn’t been you
d’ya know what i mean?
ah, c’mon—sure ya do!
you’d know it at the very least
by what bigger or little you figure it means to you.
well, i wrung out my reams and guess what it boiled down to:
i wouldn’t be me if there’d not been you.
