This has been a groundbreaking week for me in two ways: I know you wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t remind you that, as of yesterday, Word of the Week: Volume One is now out there on sale. The perfect gift for lovers of words, trivia, history, music, sport, nostalgia and cats, it’s also the perfect size for stabilising 60% of the world’s wobbly tables. Click on the link at the bottom and brace yourself for a thrilling online shopping experience.
This launch followed hot on the heels of the excitement of realising a long-held dream to cook poached pears. I know, I really should slow down.
But it’s that fruity time of year when the ingredients of countless pies, tarts and preserves present themselves all at once and the double entendres abound. “That was a fine pear,” I said to my wife, as she advised me to go and blanche my plums.
Anyway, “poached pears” has now become my favourite reply to mechanical answering services on customer services phone lines. When they say, “Tell us in a few words what you’re calling about,” I say, “Poached pears,” because it confuses them and they have to put you straight through to a human.
You can hear the machine thinking, “Is that a pear that’s been poached in a pan or a pear that’s been poached by a poacher?” By the time they’ve figured out that poached pears have no relevance in banking, I’ve got my answer from a human and have moved on.
In defence of the machine, it does seem strange that the verb ‘to poach’ should have two such different meanings. Yet if that machine had any initiative and bothered to do some research, it would soon learn that the two are connected. Fly back in your time machine to that period following the Battle of Hastings when brutal Frenchmen marauded across England forcing haute cuisine on unappreciative Saxons, and you’ll find the word ‘poach’ evolving from the French ‘poche’ meaning ‘pocket’.
The poached egg was so-called because of the way the white made a pocket for the yolk as it cooked in the water. Meanwhile, you guessed it, the French verb ‘pocher’ (to pocket) gave rise to ‘poacher’ – someone who ‘pockets’ game that isn’t rightfully his.
There is a possibility that this meaning of poach evolved from the verb ‘to poke’, but that spoils the story, so let’s pretend I never mentioned it.
Whether your pears have been poached in a spicy syrup and served up with rum and raisin ice cream, or they’ve been nicked by someone who’s broken into your garden, the origin of both poachers belongs in your pocket. Which, coincidentally, is just large enough for a copy of the newly published Word of the Week: Volume One.
Get yours here!
