Dear Subscriber,
You may have heard that for the last two years the European Union has been trying to poke businesses and other organisations into paying attention to the fact that it has introduced a new data protection regulation. Until very recently, no-one gave a monkey’s.
Today, that regulation – known as the GDPR (short for Great DePRession) – comes into force. You may have received a number of emails and letters lately from various organisations, all written in the same indisguisably desperate tone, letting you know the exciting news about their revised privacy policy. For people who enjoy reading privacy policies, it really has been like all your Christmases coming at once.
You will, no doubt, have been touched to learn how many businesses, which you previously judged to be cold-hearted, blood-sucking monsters with the ethics of a praying mantis, really do care about your personal data and would be distraught if they felt that you were being kept in the dark about how they plan to use it. You may even have been sufficiently moved by these sentiments to tick the box giving your consent for them to continue to clog up your inbox with spam.
If, on the other hand, you have switched off at the first mention of the word ‘data’ and ignored their pleas, you will soon be enjoying a more tranquil email experience, as your details should, as of midnight last night, have been wiped from every database for every firm to which you have not responded.
Rest assured, however, you will continue to receive the emails for hearing aids, flight simulators, creams for erectile dysfunction and the various free services for hijacking your computer or cleaning out your bank account. Any business that operates outside the law is not expected to comply with the GDPR.
The really good news is that Word of the Week will continue to land in your inbox without you having to lift a finger, because, well, you asked for it. Feel free to read my privacy policy if you like but be warned, it’s really boring. The essential points are that nothing’s changed in the way I store or use your data. Despite repeated requests from purveyors of hearing aids, flight simulators and creams for erectile dysfunction, I have resisted the temptation to share my database with third parties, other than those that are really good at hacking. To be honest, they didn’t even ask.
If you still feel your privacy is being intruded upon, there is a small unsubscribe link at the bottom of this email. In the interests of transparency, however, I should tell you that if you click on it I will know who you are and I will never speak to you again.
It’s the law.
